Teenber 
Love is like sand in the hand, if you hold it too loosely, it will slip away quietly; but if you hold it too tightly, it will flow through your fingers faster. Therefore, the best state of love should be relaxation and relaxation.
Everyone’s love for another person should have an appropriate degree. The history of blood and tears in countless cases tells us that when you are in love with a boy, you must never touch these red lines, otherwise, it is very likely not to say Love, even ordinary friends, you can’t do it again.
01
arrogant
I don’t know if some girls are brainwashed by poisonous chicken soup or suffer from straight female.
They always feel that they are girls, so no matter when boys have to let themselves, and boys are good to them, it is natural for them to do anything for them.
All the pressure has to be carried by boys, and even some girls spend boys’ money while scolding boys for being stingy.
They are not only materialistic, but also temperamental. Today, if the boy doesn’t reply to the message in seconds, he loses his temper and says that the boy doesn’t love her.
When I go out to play with my friends tomorrow, my boyfriend doesn’t like him at all, so he looks at him in front of everyone, and even makes all kinds of noise, so that he can’t get off the stage.
Yes, little fairies, girls need to learn to act coquettishly, and they need to “make small troubles” properly, but if you are because the other party loves you, you will continue to challenge the other party’s bottom line, feeling that he owes you the same thing as you can. Try to torture him in various ways to prove that he loves you.
Then sooner or later the boys will not be able to bear it and will be cornered by you. You know, “honest” people can’t be persuaded once they are forced.
02
overpayment, loss of value
There is another kind of girl whose behavior is the exact opposite of the previous one.
They don’t put their status in love too high or do whatever they want, but they are too humble in front of each other.
Such girls are often very unconfident in love. They always use various behaviors to please each other and sacrifice themselves.
In my consulting cases, there are many such girls. They feel that as long as they give their hearts, they will touch each other sooner or later, and they can overcome everything with sincerity.
For example, there is a girl like this. She likes boys for a long time, and boys know her heart. In college, girls would buy breakfast every day and wait for him downstairs in the boys’ dormitory. Later, they even gave up the opportunity for boys to go abroad as exchange students.
Later, the boy finally agreed to be with her, just when the girl was meticulously working hard for their future.
The boy broke up with her, because the boy received an offer from a big company in Shenzhen, while the girl chose to stay in the city where the boy was and become an elementary school teacher.
I thought my sacrifice, my sacrifice, could return the happiness I longed for. But in the end, your humbleness is only touched by yourself.
When you give up everything for “love”, and even give up your dream, the distance between you and the other party is getting farther and farther. Loving someone is a beautiful thing, but at the same time it shouldn’t be a stumbling block that stops you from moving forward, disrupting the rhythm of your life and growth.
You thought that you were silently waiting for love by doing this, but when you looked up, you found that the other party had left you in the same place.
Be calm first, then love someone, instead of fantasizing about feeling the other person with your own sacrifice.
03
Kidnap with love and put too much pressure on the other party
Love is not scientific research, let alone studying, it does not depend on the spirit of perseverance and courage. Sometimes, knowing the proportions and knowing how to advance and retreat can better manage your relationship.
I don’t know if you have seen the TV series “The Age of Pentium”. In the play, Feng Shigao likes Jin Liangliang, and he has laid a foreshadowing from the very beginning of the first episode.
Even if it was love, in the end, when Jin Liangliang and Chang Hanqing got married, he was still helping each other silently, such as helping each other find his own mother and asking experts to help treat infertility, and in private, he also maintained various kinds of maintenance. Each other, take care of each other in every detail.
His behavior not only caused Jin Liangliang to reject him in various ways, but also avoid him in various ways.
Really, no matter when boys or girls are facing love, don’t do this. The phrase “I treat you well without asking for anything in return” is not as romantic as you might think.
On the contrary, it may even sound a little scary to someone who has repeatedly rejected you and avoided you. Let the other party keep owing you the “favor” that cannot be repaid, and sometimes it is too much.
When the other party expresses gratitude or better feedback for your behavior, your investment and contribution are valuable, and when your behavior brings only pressure and avoidance to the other party, please reduce your give and invest.
You must know that your “selfless” behavior will only cause the other party to generate too much psychological pressure, and thus avoid you.
04
Because of love and hate, entangled in revenge
There is also a type of people who can’t get it because of love, and in the end will hate it because of love, and entangle and retaliate against each other.
This kind of person, no matter who it is, is the “first choice” for horror lovers. You know, when you are regarded as a horrible lover by the other party, will the other party still want to be with you?
Before, I have encountered a particularly extreme example. A girl went to the boy’s work place to make all kinds of noise because she was dissatisfied with her boyfriend and broke up with her, and even went to the boy’s parents’ house to make trouble.
This caused the boys to be talked about in various ways in the unit, and also caused the boys’ parents to be laughed at by the neighbors.
And finally? Not only did the girl fail to “restore” the boy’s wish, but it made the boy see her extreme temperament more clearly.
People like this have what we call a more paranoid personality. For anyone, this kind of irrational behavior will make people shy away from him.
Normal people will worry about whether they will be anxious if they continue to stay with such people, and whether their life safety will be threatened. Therefore, staying away from them and completely drawing a clear line is the best choice for ordinary people.
No matter which of the above behaviors you have committed, the next thing you need to do is to calm down and stop immediately.
You must know that the love we need is an emotion that can bring us good feelings and make our lives happier, rather than gradually distorting our own psychology, making others afraid, and bringing others to life. to hurt feelings.
Face up to your own problems and treat love in an appropriate way, and you can reap a happier love ending.
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