Sara is an excellent girl, with good looks, sexy body, and a well-paid and decent job.
In this way, she naturally attracted the favor of many boys and had many suitors, and among them was Alan.
Just six months ago, Alan met Sara at a cocktail party, and he fell in love with her at first sight and started various pursuits. Every Monday, I ask people to send flowers to the company. I even have romantic surprises for Sara to have a meal, and I warmly greet her and take care of her. When I heard that Sara was sick, I would have traveled to another place to fly back overnight.
In the end, naturally, Sara was caught.
In the first three months, Alan and Sara were all sweet, and almost every day in the circle of friends, they could be seen showing their affection in various poses.
As for Alan, he was even more excited because he had caught up with his goddess, so he changed his mobile phone desktop to a photo of Sara, and made a detour every day to drive Sara for two more hours to and from get off work.
In short, their daily life is as sweet as a romance drama.
But gradually, Alan turned into sending Sara to and from get off work every three to five, and then it became once a week, and then it became an occasional one for a long time. And his mobile phone desktop has long been changed back to the starry universe he likes.
Day by day, Sara is still so beautiful, gentle and decent, but Alan seems to be no longer as enthusiastic and patient towards her as before.
They started a cold war and started bickering over trivial things.
Later, it wasn’t until Sara saw a message sent to him by other girls on Alan’s phone, calling him her husband, that the two of them finally ended up breaking up.
I believe that you have seen a lot of things like this. It is obvious that when two people first got together, there were all kinds of sweet love. Boys can’t wait to hold girls to the top of their hearts all the time, but in the end, they turned away from love and cheated on other girls.
Why is this so? After finally getting the goddess of his dreams, shouldn’t he cherish it in every possible way and be consistent? But why, in the end, he changed his mind and cheated on other women?
In fact, this is all because of a psychological phenomenon called “hedonic adaptation”.
What is a “hedonic indication”, in fact, everyone will understand it with an example.
You’ve saved up a lot of money for a pair of sneakers that you really like. When I first got my hands, I was excited and happy, and I took great care of these shoes. If they get dirty, you have to clean them up quickly.
But after a while, when you put it on again, you won’t be so happy, so excited, and it doesn’t matter if you accidentally get a little dirty.
This phenomenon is called hedonic adaptation. Science has proven that when something suddenly happens that makes a person feel happy and happy, the excitement and happiness will only last for at most three months before returning to a normal state of mind.
In the same way, when you are broken up or something unfortunate happens to a friend around you, you feel that the whole world has collapsed, and you will never meet someone who treats you so well. You are extremely sad, and after three months After that, you will still be alive and well and live your life as usual.
So if a boy loves you again at the beginning, and then pursues you hard, once you have been together for a long time, more than three months, this passion and freshness will disappear.
When a relationship goes to the back, it will always lose its passion, because the powerful force of “hedonic adaptation” is behind it.
Does that mean that all men will change their minds after more than three months, and will empathize and find other girls?
If you don’t do anything, then your relationship will gradually fade away. In the end, even if he doesn’t cheat, your relationship will not last until the end.
The fact that the prince and the princess meet and finally come together does not mean a perfect ending. The contradictions, quarrels, and frictions generated by the two people are the real follow-up.
So don’t assume that you’re in a high position to begin with and you’ll be fine with a good, thoughtful boyfriend.
Happiness is divided into two steps. The first step is to find the right person for you. The second step is to make this freshness and excitement last for a lifetime.
So how can you keep your feelings from being defeated by the powerful force of “hedonic adaptation” and diluted by time?
Positive psychology research shows that there are three main sources of human happiness: 50% comes from genes, 10% comes from the environment, and 40% comes from human actions.
That is to say, happiness depends to a large extent on our own actions.
So what actions can make the relationship between you and your partner better and better? Today I’m here to share with you 5 secrets to rekindle your love:
know how to appreciate
Two people have been together for a long time, and it is easy to become accustomed to each other. Get used to the advantages of you falling in love with him at the beginning, and get used to everything the other person has done for you. It seems that the other party’s dedication to you is a matter of course.
If this goes on like this, it’s easy for you to ignore each other’s strengths and lose the sense of happiness you had when you were with him in the first place.
Therefore, it is very important to know how to appreciate and know how to be grateful. Know how to be grateful when the other person has done something for you in daily life. When the other person shows the good side, know how to appreciate him.
At this time, when the other party gets your feedback, it will make you feel affirmed and more willing to pay for you.
(If you say that you are not good at complimenting others and don’t know how to do so, then reply to the keyword “compliment” in the background of our official account, and you can quickly get this skill.)
Avoid offensive reprimands
We all come from different families, grew up in different environments, have different personalities, and have different living habits.
Therefore, there will inevitably be friction and some stumbling and stumbling when getting along. Therefore, quarrels can be said to be something that every couple will experience.
Usually, people lose their minds when they are angry, don’t care about the feelings of the other party, and even say some offensive rebukes to hurt the other party’s self-esteem.
For example: “You are so useless, you know you are staying at home all day!”, “You are too selfish! You never consider my situation!”, “You are so tasteless, you can fall asleep watching a drama with me!”
In fact, when you said these words at the time, it was just a moment of anger, but the other party has been deeply hurt by you.
If the other party is violent, you must have a fierce quarrel, and if the other party is a gentle person, then the heart must be extremely aggrieved.
Therefore, when the other party does something that is not so satisfactory to us, please try to express it euphemistically in another way to minimize the damage.
kidnap each other’s value
Even if you have the same appearance as Fan Bingbing, the other party will only think that it is a face after looking at it for a long time. When two people get along, what is more important is the intrinsic value you have.
If you want your significant other to be inseparable from you, then in addition to being independent, you must learn to guide his life, and even provide him with career help.
When he encounters setbacks, give him some new ideas, new perspectives, or help him cook a bowl of noodles when he comes home from overtime late at night.
At that moment, the other party will understand that you and his value are bound, and you are a community of interests. In such a situation, how can a boy leave you so easily?
Just look at Xiang Tai, she was beautiful and bright when she was young, and Xiang Huaqiang spoiled her in various ways. Even if she is older and fatter and no longer young and beautiful, she still loves her more.
An attractive woman who knows how to go beyond the outer skin and make a man fall in love with her soul.
give each other time to think of you
No matter how delicious the dish is, if you eat it alone every day, you will get tired of it. The same is true in love. If you want to keep your love fresh for a long time, don’t stick together all the time.
To know how to give each other space properly, the other party will look forward to spending time with you more.
You can use this time to create your own high value, such as having a beauty spa with your best friends, going on a trip with your female friends, or just sitting alone in a coffee shop reading a book.
When you stop clinging to him every day and be yourself, he will be more attracted to you. At the same time, because of your proper distance, it also gave him time to miss you.
Keep the frequency doing the things that you like together
Love is constant and the loved one explores new landscapes. While you need space for each other, you also need emotional resonance that belongs to both of you.
Try doing one thing you both enjoy doing with him each week.
For example, you both like fitness, or you both like outings, or you both like watching movies, so you might as well choose a time when you have free time with each other to do this together.
Know that these shared experiences will make two people more tacit and have more emotional resonance.
And because of these tacit understanding and resonance, each other can discover more shining points in each other, and be more sure that the other party is the person they want most and agree with most.
When the prince and princess are together, it doesn’t mean a happy ending. Knowing how to improve yourself in love and learn to get along better with each other will make the fire of love last forever.
If your relationship with him is in a bottleneck period, if you feel that the relationship between you is getting weaker and weaker, then learning these 5 methods will definitely benefit a lot.